Chegamos

We arrived.  And thanks God I have a blog now.  Everyone should have a brazilian wife because they know the ways of the internets, including how to set up a blog for you.  What's more with Brazilians, she just went ahead and did it. No waiting around for me to agree (imagine all the things she'd still be waiting for).  But like I said, thanks god, because now I finally have the soapbox of my dreams to publicly shame Delta Airlines. What a clown shop.  My list of grievances over the years with them is running towards Infinite Jest length, but they're nothing if not persistent about outdoing themselves.  I spent my last frantic day in New York with one comfort - that once we got on the plane to São Paulo, I could unfurl in the wide open spaces of the exit row.  I'd even cross-referenced with seatguru when booking (I know a thing or two about the internets) to get the best seat possible in the leisure class.  But at check-in we got 17 D & E - two of the middle three in the 2-3-2 layout.  And because Delta only hires ex-Soviet bureaucrats, no one expressed the mildest remorse at our hard luck, never mind throwing us a bone to make up for it.  One especially skill-less employee actually offered this condolence, "I don't know what you must have done."  Nothing like being told it's your fault the system has up and screwed you.  The usual displeasantries of the flight crew were just more salt in the wound, although I have special memories of the charmless frigate who threw the moist towelette at me.

 So, owing it all to my brazilian wife, vengeance is mine. I'm going to harness the power of you, my huge audience, to start organized disobedience to make Delta pay.  I implore you: no more boarding when your zone is called.  Insist that you ordered the Halal meal and they damn well better turn one up.  Carry on a steamer trunk.  Accidentally inflate the life vest.  Lean on the flight attendant call button and ask for connecting gate information for made-up cities.  That's what these blogs are for, right?  A call to arms.  Like saying "No" to Granny Death Panels and keeping the highest office in the land free from aliens.